By Maddie
20 Premiership Donkeys (26/07/07)
The FA Premiership is a utopia of talented footballers but, every now and again, the managers get it wrong - signing players who would be better suited to a Sunday morning Pub League. Maddie takes a look at a select 20 Premiership Donkeys.

The FA English Premiership, the best league in the world. Where else can you see the likes of Ronaldo, Rooney, Drogba and Berbatov. They entertain us week after week, however, for every Paul Scholes there is a Paul Kitson.

Below is a list of the 20 Players I feel have brought shame on our wonderful game.

Corrado Grabbi (Blackburn Rovers) Signed by Graeme Souness (his name will be a common element in this article) in 2001, Corradi came with a good reputation. Having started his career with Juventus he joined Lucchese, Chievo and then Modena – scoring 58 times in 70 appearances. This led to the hairy Scottish one paying £6.75m for his services. The result – 1 goal in fourteen games before being shipped back to Italy. Nice move, Graeme.

Marcelinho (Newcastle United) Spanish and Shit. Signed by Newcastle for £6m this waste of space spent the majority of his time nursing a sore finger and unable to play. Left on a free.

Des Hamilton (Newcastle United) Better known as Derrick. Still Derrick, Des or Dezza, he was shit and an insult to the Premiership. Signed by Kenny Dalglish for £1.375m, Hamilton ended up being shipped out on loan and eventually sold to Cardiff. For every Alan Shearer, there was a Des Hamilton.

Jean-Alain Boumsong (Newcastle United) This 6' 3” waste of space makes it a hat-trick for Newcastle players and another faux paus for Graeme Souness. Newcastle shelled out £8m for the big Frenchman – he left a season later and is now involved in a bung scandal. If there was a bung involved it must have been Rangers trying desperately to get rid of him.

Chris Sutton (Chelsea) Forget Blackburn, he was good there. It was when Chelsea paid £10m for his services in the 1998/99 season that gets him into my list. He managed a measly 1 goal in 28 appearances and was banished to Scotland for his sins.

Kleberson (Manchester United) We have had a hat-trick of Newcastle players so lets equal that with a Man United trio. First up, Kleberson. Signed by Alex Ferguson for £6.5m he will go down as one of Fergusons worst signings. Leeds wanted him – United should have let them have him.

Eric Djemba-Djemba (Manchester United) So good they named him twice? No, so shit no one fucking cares.

Liam Miller (Manchester United) Billed as a long-term replacement for Roy Keane when Ferguson signed him from Celtic in 2004. The poor lad was banished to Leeds to teach him a lesson, when this loan turned sour, he was rescued by Roy Keane – but forced to play for Sunderland. There is irony in there somewhere.

Carl Cort (Newcastle United) Bobby Robson’s mind was going when he signed Cort – well at least he will claim that. £7m paid for a striker who managed 22 appearances and 7 goals in 4 seasons. At least his 6' 4” stature will enable him to see over the queue at the job centre.

Attilio Lombardo (Crystal Palace) Sampdoria and Lazio – the man was an Italian Legend. For Crystal Palace, however, he was an Italian Sausage. Absolutely shocking!!

Milton Nunez (Sunderland) £2m this fella cost Peter Reid, 2 Million Pounds. And what was Peter Reid’s research mechanism? International Scouting operation? High recommendation from one of the world’s elite? No, he watched a video – of someone else - did no research signed this fella and a match later his career in Mackem land was over. More disappointing than Sunderland’s Premiership history.

David Bellion (Manchester United) Signed in August 2003 by Ferguson from Sunderland. His career warrants no more words...

Juan Sebastian Veron (Chelsea) It is really Manchester United and Chelsea, but I plugged for Chelsea because they still paid £14m for him having seen how shit he was for the previous 2 seasons.

Massimo Taibi (Manchester United) They were trying to replace - Schmeichel perhaps the greatest keeper ever. Bosnich came and went, then there was Taibi – in order to be a Keeper you need to be able to catch a ball. Unfortunately for Alex Ferguson, this hapless fool couldn’t.

Stephane Guivarch (Newcastle) "A World Cup Winner", they said. Surely destined to be a great. Unfortunately his name will not feature with the likes of Milburn and Shearer, rather Andersson, Kitson and Tomasson.

Bosko Balaban (Aston Villa) This lad is still a Croatian International and is currently plying his trade with Club Brugge. However, when he was signed by Aston Villa in 2000 for a fee of £5.8million and given £20k a week the expectations were high. The result – 9 appearances, 7 as a substitute. Later loaned back to Kiev and in 2003 released from his contract.

Winston Bogarde (Chelsea) You could call this guy a genius. He spent 4 seasons at Chelsea playing only 11 times. However during that spell he was on a contract worth £40,000 a week. To put that into perspective, he earned roughly £8.3 million during his time there. Complete and utter waste of money.

Jason Lee (Nottingham Forest) He had a pineapple on his head. Bet he wishes he hadn’t. Taunted by every fan in the country (including his own) and featuring weekly on (TV Show) "Fantasy Football", this nugget truly deserves to be in the list.

Andrea Silenzi (Nottingham Forest) Signed for £1.8m in 1995, Frank Clark later tore his contract up. He started only 7 games scoring 2 goals. Some compared him to a horse – they would have been better digging Dessert Orchid up and sticking him up front.

Ali Dia (Southampton)
We started with a Graeme Souness gem so it's only fitting that we finish with one. Ali Dia was signed in 1996 – after his agent pretended to be George Weah, claiming Dia was his cousin and as well as playing for Senegal, was a former Paris Saint Germain player. So what research did Souness do? None! He signed him on a one month contract.

The lad played one game, 52 minutes against Leeds. He came on after 32 mins to replace the extremely talented Matt Le Tissier. However, after putting in an abysmal display, he was further humiliated when Souness brought on Ken Monkou to replace him – imagine the embarrassment (Dia was so Shit there are no known photos).

Well that completes the 20 I am sure you will all have your own thoughts on who are the worst players, but I think you’ll all agree the players above were truly awful.