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By KJS
Halloween Special : The 20 Worst Halloween Costumes I Could Find (24/10/05)
When it comes to Halloween costumes, it's a crying shame when people don't make an effort, or simply lack imagination, or even worse - have a good idea but fail miserably in pulling it off. I look for prime examples of all 3 of those scenarios, some of the worst costumes out there. |
Halloween is a fun time of year. We may not celebrate it here in the UK as much as places such as America, but it's still good watching the horror movies that are inevitably on around this time, waiting for the kids to knock on the door in their costumes, and even dressing up yourself for parties. But, sadly, some morons dress like twats. Take a look:-
N.B. Some of these costumes don't appear to be very "Halloweeny", but trust me when I say that my searching was Halloween-specific, and all of these were taken from sites either selling them as Halloween costumes, or from pictures of parties claiming to be Halloween parties.
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20. Madonna
On paper it seems like a good idea, and although this woman isn't going to get 10 out of 10 for her efforts, she could have done worse. But the fact is, she's got a chocolaty smear under her left armpit, so this photo had to be in the list. |
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19. Elvis Pressley
Again, not a bad idea you may think. Not particularly original, but there have been worse ideas. But when you are this fat, and when - more grotesquely - your bollocks are showing, you get the feeling he shouldn't be wearing the costume. |
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18. A Mammogram
This is a man in a state of utter desparation. |
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17. Condom Man
What possesses someone to suddenly come up with this idea:- "I know, this year I'll dress up as a giant condom!"? This costume is utterly ridiculous! |
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16. A Burger
Tacky. That's the only word for this. And the man parading in it looks very, very camp. If Freddy Mercury had advertised for McDonalds... |
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15. Hulk Hogan
This is another costume that doesn't sound too bad when you think of it - not many others are going to be wearing the same as you, that's for certain - but when you've got tan lines on the top of your legs from where you've been wearing horrendous Bermuda-Shorts all summer, trunks like this are a massive no-no. |
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14. Karate Man
I know what you're thinking - "what's wrong with dressing up in Karate gear?" Well the answer is that there is nothing wrong with it - if you've gone to the effort of hiring it. But if you hired it, it would be a black belt. When you've blatantly just got your own Karate gear out of the cupboard, complete with lowly yellow belt, your credibility suddenly plummits. |
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13. Wonderwoman
Another unoriginal idea, but again, not an offense worthy of punishment... usually. But in this case - where the woman looks like Jo Brand - she should have opted for something else. |
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12. A Toilet
It's imaginative, it's creative, it may even be innovative, but when it's made out of duct-tape, cardboard boxes, plastic bags and polystyrene - and good application of an idea is essential - it makes you look like a fool. |
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11. Jason Voorhees... in a hat?
Jason's a good idea on a Halloween night - when executed properly - but this cheap imitation mask, complete with inexplicable hat, is a piss poor attempt. |
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10. Hello Kitty Face
You're looking at that and thinking I'm stupid, right? Seriously, under the picture at the site that I found this was a brief explanation that the above mask was in fact the "Hello Kitty" cat. But a) it looks like it was made with a sheet of A4 in about 30 seconds, and b) it's being worn by a man holding a chainsaw. What - the - fuck? |
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9. A Postman
Sigh. That looks like an official Royal Mail shirt, so this chap has blatantly loaned it from his Dad. And of course the moustache is essential, as we all know all postmen have moustaches... don't we?? Oh no. It's not essential at all. He's just a buffoon. |
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8. An M&M
Bless this kid. I'm not going to be cruel, as it's clear to me that the costume was forced on him by his parents. This lad wanted to turn up at the party as a bad-ass gangster, but he was too polite to hurt his parents' feelings. What the hell makes any costume company think that anyone would want to dress up as a god damned M&M???? |
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7. A Building
On the site that I found this, it said "Tony likes work so much, that he's dressed up as one of the office buildings for Halloween!" Hmmm, hilarious. |
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6. Spongebob Squarepants
They do this in adult sizes? Why????
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5. A Vagina
You know... it's just so worrying that someone would actually want to wander around dressed like this! The sad thing is, for someone to actually want to do so, they must actually look worse without it on. A truly scary thought. |
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4. Man with a Snake
This is obviously the unpopular guy from the office. He must have been invited to the party at the last minute - "Shall we invite Greg? He's sat over there looking lonely and the staff party's tonight". Greg then went home, raided his kid's toy box, found a snake and showed up at the party with the intention of having a "crazy time". Oh the laughs. MUST TRY HARDER, Greg. |
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3. A File System
This nerd thought it would be "quirky" and "clever" to cover himself in CD's and call himself a "file system". Now half the people in the world won't even know what one is, but at least he can now go home and fill all the CD's he bought with the midget porn he's blatantly in to. |
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2. A Spool
Same guy. Different year. Seriously, he thinks dressing as a mail spool is funny. What goes through some people's minds?? To most people, that's just a daft hat on a large, hairy man. Unappealing. |
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1. Penis Man
This is just the pits! I have to say, it's worthy of a snigger, but if you go out covered in penises, you're just asking to be beaten the hell up - and I can't think of anything more humiliating than lying on the pavement, coughing and spluttering, battered and bruised, covered in plastic penises. It's foul! Congratulations, dipstick, for officially being the worst dressed Halloween party-goer ever. You win nothing.
Some people! |
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