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By Jabbslad
Halloween Special : Feast (2005) : A Review (15/10/06)
Jabbslad has been something of an ATO recluse for quite some time since his "Four Brothers" review, but he's back and better than ever with this cracking review of gory horror treat "Feast", a film with plenty of star quality behind it.
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OK, it's been a while since my last contribution, the main reason being that I have been away scouring the movie globe in search of a horror film worthy of adorning the Twisted Outlook pages once more. After watching 62.3 hours of horror flicks, there was one film that stood head and shoulders above the rest. It had me on the edge of my seat, it had me hiding behind the sofa, it even had me hitting the pause button to go for a shite because I was worried it would come out involuntarily whilst watching this freak fest. What is this film I hear you ask? Well... this film is "Feast" and boy do I have one feast of a review for you!
I was just telling Kev "Krueger" Stewart how I hadn't seen a "right good fucking horror romp" since the splendid first installment of the "Saw" series when all of a sudden I found myself strangely drawn to the title "Feast" amongst the long list of mediocre and mildly unappealing horror titles on IMDB. I didn't have a clue what was in store for me as I waited for the browser to slowly process the page. The first photo to load was one of a voluptuous blonde haired lass covered in blood stains with her "wapps" half hanging out... at this point I knew I was in for a right treat. I pasted the trailer link to KJS as a form of vetting process. For those that don't know, KJS is a veteran of the horror watching circuit; what he doesn't know about horror flicks isn't worth knowing. Rumour has it that he even uses an original Freddie Krueger finger to slice up carrots for his mam in the kitchen. KJS pointed out that Feast was actually produced by Wes Craven, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, so as you can see there is a fair bit of Hollywood clout behind this movie.
The Review
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I neeeeed a Heeeerrroo! |
The film starts within a roadside drinking tavern in the US desert. The scene is quickly set and we are treated to "Lock-Stock-esque" freeze frames on each character with comedic captions immediately setting the scene for the viewer. Two minutes later a "hero" bursts through the saloon style doors and informs the drinkers they are all in danger from some wolf-like mutants who are bearing down on the bar. "Who are you?" one guy asks... "hero" with his back to the window turns to face the lad and boldly states "I'm the guy that's gonna save your life"... the cocky shite - 5 seconds later the mutant smashes its claws through the window, pulls our hero head first through the window and then kindly returns his decapitated body to the bar's inhabitants for all to see. Blood is spraying from the headless corpse and in true horror style one unfortunate waitress gets covered head-to-toe in blood... unfortunately meaning she has to get her wapps out for the lads! |
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The battle lines between the wolf-like mutants and humans are now set, it is down to everyone within the bar to either repel the onslaught or stand and fight with an ever decreasing supply of ammunition. The film is very direct in style, it doesn't try and pretend to be a "serious" horror, Wes Craven knows this and some of the moments are pure comedy - a male wolf mutant having his meat and two veg sliced off when he was unfortunate enough to have a door slammed on them, it brought a tear to my eye!
As with most films of this ilk, the cast is slowly whittled down and Craven does an excellent job of manufacturing situations where you think you know something is going to happen and then the complete opposite does - it's a true sign that the Godfather of horror can get inside our psyche and knows how best to deliver the next dose of shock treatment!
If you're after a bloody good horror this halloween you could do a lot worse than Feast's offering, it will have you pissing your pants through laughter and shitting yourself through shock, both of which I thoroughly enjoy!
"Who am I?"
"I'm the guy thats going to give Feast 5 out of 5."
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Rating (Out of 5 Feast Bars) : 5
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