After watching "28 Days Later" on television, KJS and I got onto the subject of “what to do if zombies attacked”.
There was much discussion on the subject and, after much wangling, we came up with a darn good plan. So good in fact I decided to create this article on “Surviving a Zombie Attack in a Town with a Tesco Store.”
Initially our thoughts were that, clearly, we needed food to survive the apocalypse, and a substantial amount, leading us to the Tesco store within the town, given that we both had sufficient time to get to our cars and thus the store before the Zombie hordes began to amass.
Clearly the plan must be set in action the second we suspect the zombies to be rising.
We were obviously not going to be able to defend alone, so KJS's girlfriend would be asked to attend +1 female friend, should we be the only survivors and need to repopulate the area of course.
A typical Zombie, what to look for.
Note the poor Hygiene levels |
Obviously there would have to be a time limit on KJS' "other half" arriving, so we settled on 10 minutes and she would have to enter via the side entrance, which is up some stairs, thus thwarting any zombies for a while at least, as they worked out how to use them.
Any time after 10 minutes and we would have to assume she had been consumed by the now building zombie hordes.
Clearly other friends and family would be welcomed, but precautions must be taken to prevent contamination entering the store.
Then it hit us, like a cold, sharp shot to the head. The glass front of the store, whilst toughened, may not hold the impending zombie onslaught, this meant we would have to fall back to the upper floor, only accessible via a service lift, a side entrance (up some stairs), stairs in the back area, and the main conveyor belt system.
Obviously, preventing them getting to us via the lift would be a simple procedure. To reduce any threat of a zombie using the button on an off chance, we would simply call the lift to the top floor and whilst the door were opened press the emergency stop button, thus disabling the lift. As a fall back we could also put a box or similar item in the doorway to prevent close. |
The side entrance would have to remain accessible for the time being for reasons already stated (friends, family), but the conveyor system would have to be jammed somehow, but how?
Turning it off would just create a simple slope for the zombies to use and blocking the slope would just remain a threat from zombies breaking though.
No, we needed something better here. Then it hit me - why not turn both of the belts to run DOWN?! This can be done with keys from the top of the belts. This way, the zombies would have an impossible "travelator" type obstacle, thus meaning all upstairs occupants would be safe should the power remain on, which we expect it would for at least 2 days.
In the mean time, a spiked metal barrier could be fashioned for the top of the "travelator", perhaps even with spinning blades from a grass-cutter or drill?
But, now we were stuck upstairs with only the limited food in the cafe, clothes and electrical goods. How could we get the much needed food upstairs without having to do a dangerous raid?
This initially took quite some thinking, using only the materials provided, but I believe I have an answer...
The Supply Grabber |
Simple yet effective, for those of you who do not know, I will explain how this device works and is created:
The device is essentially 2 and a half standard coat hangers (available), 1 or several broom type handles (available from cleaning cupboard), a piece of thick string or similar and a coiled spring, now the spring is somewhat of a problem as I can't think where to get one, but this can easily be replaced by lots of knicker/boxer elastic (available) to do the same.
Basically you need 3 half coat hangers. These are essentially the "fingers" of the grabber, with the "thumb" between the two "fingers". The spring or elastic needs to be attached to a further whole "support" coat hanger - this is used as leverage for the coil of elastic which is set to pull the fingers together by default. The top "thumb" must also have a thick string attached to pull the "thumb" up and separate the "grabber". The string must be long enough to reach to the end of the extender pole, which could be one or more broom poles or similar attached to the "hand" part of the "grabber" and the whole thing attached together with a bolt if possible, but a drill bit with large chunks or blue-tac at the ends would suffice. These items should be simple enough to find and knives from the cafe could be used to put holes in the plastic hangers.
It should be obvious what could be done with this device...
On the roof on the stores I notice there are metal gang planks of a kind. These could be shimmied along and the grabber used to retrieve food from below without getting close to any zombies. With the thin coat hanger fingers able to open the fridge doors (given the coil spring or elastic is strong enough).
Remember to keep hold of that string however, it's "the grabbers" thumb.
So there we have it - So far we have food and safety from the zombie threat, but how long will the water last?
Well, should the zombie infection be spread through blood, drinking from the main water supplies shouldn't really be attempted in case of contamination, only in dire emergencies should we use this.
So, buckets and any other water containing device should be gathered on the roof of the building, long before the supplies in the shop below run out. In case of any unforeseen circumstances, this water should be collected and stored in a cool dark place on especially warm or sunny days to prevent it drying out. You never know when we might need it.
Now for usable weapons should the zombies get through or, as we suspect will happen in 2/3 days, the power to the "travelator" cuts out due to local power failures.
My initial thoughts were to isolate the supply to the emergency fire sprinklers, disconnecting the sprinklers to the upper floor and adding a fuel such as cleaning fluid or other flammable liquid to the supply for the lower floor sprinklers and chuck in a match and watch the suckers burn, but this would also result in loss of food and a high likelihood of death for the survivors through smoke inhalation. There had to be another way.
Now, obviously ranged weaponry would be preferential so...
I believe I could fashion a crude bow out of coat hangers and elastic but my thoughts about this being strong enough were in doubt... until I saw this:
http://kwc.org/mythbusters/2006/01/m..._crossbow.html
Although the "Mythbusters" did state the paper and elastic crossbow would only be lethal if shot in a place such as the neck or eye, it was deemed plausible and since zombies are basically rotting bags of flesh, in 3 days or so they should be starting to decompose meaning the bow/crossbow idea would work.
Mythbusters Paper Crossbow |
We could file shards of dinner trays (as the Mythbuters did) or coat hangers into nice little anti-zombie arrows.
Clearly this would pass away some hours too, making fun games such as, "spot the celeb look-a-like" (as in Dawn of the Dead 2004).
Now, to stop the zombies getting up the belt system, which may stop, metal DVD display cases can be moved into rows at the top of the belts. The row of display cases should reach the rear wall, thus creating a reinforcement and no chance of the cases falling, which I guess would require 10 cases. Now this will be hard work and need to be done pre-power cut, but will be well worth it in the long run.
From here, it's just basically keeping warm on a night, which will be simple with so many clothes on the upper floor.
Then it's just staying occupied until the zombies die of starvation and then seeing what's left of the world you once knew.
So there we have it - The guide to surviving a zombie attack in a town with a Tesco store.
Have fun.
